A Flurry of Activity

There will shortly be quite a few posts on the blog I've been meaning to post for some time, but have been prevented from doing so due to health or work related reasons. Tonight, however, I intend to post as many as I can.

I dropped my chopstick...

Ever tried to eat cheese ramen with just one chopstick? It's tough.

This random post brought to you by the flu. Making me more loopy than usual once a year...and this is without help from pharmaceuticals. :)

“Are You Going to Trust the God Who Saves You?”

As I walk down the streets of South Korea on my way to work I notice something…

Even though I am walking down the streets of a city in a distant country from home,
Even though I still haven’t travelled that far out of my own neighborhood yet and can easily get lost…

I have already found myself being able to walk to work without having to look up much from the street. Incredible.
How is it that although I am still so new to this country that I get lost in a grocery store that I can already be disregarding what is in my typical path?

Repetition.
If you think about it, there is so much information that passes by our eyes each and every day, while our brain can store all of it, if it becomes a repetitive pattern there is less of a need to be consistently recording the data. What purpose does it serve? Better to eventually tune it out.


I have a confession to make.
And after everything that I’ve seen God do in my life in the past months, I feel as if I should have understood this already to begin with. That as soon as I saw the problem I could rest easy, because God had already shown me that he would provide.
When I first started making plans to come to Korea, there were at least two times that I found out that I would need an additional $200 to make the arrangements to get over here (getting paperwork settled and such). The first time I needed the money I was worried like crazy as to where the money was going to come from. Yet, just fifteen minutes after the need was presented, I was shown where $200 more would be coming from. “Awesome!” I thought. I gave a quick praise to God for providing for my need.
Just a week or so later, another incident occurred and I found out I would need still another $200 to make preparations to come to Korea. $200 more?!?! How will this come?! I was nervous. I was scared. …Yet fifteen minutes later I was shown how God had provided the additional $200 needed. I was thrilled! I was ecstatic! I realized that God was going to take care of this the whole way through! And then I realized…


God…will…take…care…of…this…the…whole…way…through…


I really had to take the time to say that slowly. I realized that in my walk I had grown accustomed to saying, “God will provide.” The most powerful time I remember being reminded of this point was when a teacher pointed out that one of the themes of Exodus 15-17 is, “Are you going to trust the God who saves you?”

Did I? Did I truly live like I trusted God? “Of course I am!” I would proudly say. “God will provide!” I would say (while I nervously glanced over my shoulder, wondering how I would get this lesson made…). “God will provide!” I would shout (while I bit my nails wondering how I would eat…). “God will provide!” (I would proclaim) while I started to really wonder how things were going to work… “God will provide!” (I would yell) while I was now desperately trying to figure out when will it all end??… (“God will provide.”) I murmured out of habit while I was too busy trying to get things to work myself… (“God will provide.”) I hurriedly whispered as I continued to mount plans as defensives against the powers staggering against me… (“ “)…I was too busy caught up trying to take care of myself…

As I busy myself with slapping mortar on another brick, trying to patch up yet another hole in a shoddy wall, a faint whisper catches my ear as the enemy fire pauses for a moment…

are you going to trust the God who saves you?

My hand pauses. The whisper pulls up a memory of times long ago. I remember the class, and I think back to the story. I think back to the history of God and His people, how He has always taken care of them. I think of how many times I could not possibly imagine how I would get through it, yet God somehow provided. Sometimes even more than I could have possibly asked for. I don’t even notice as the brick begins to slip out of my hand as I remember how God has brought me this far to Korea and found a way to get my passport back not just on time but early when the consulate didn’t do interviews that day, and with only 3 days to get it back to me for a process that took 2 days to file…

I remember the cross, and how he had already anticipated my greatest need of all… the whisper again…

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness… (2 Pe 1:3)

…the brick falls out of my hand. The canons fire again, this time in more earnest… The heavy artillery is coming in now. The enemy has seen the cracks in my defense and is ready to smash it down. The whistles grow steadily louder as they rocket ever closer to my frail position behind such a clumsy wall…

…but I don’t hear them. My thoughts are lost in the words of Paul…”No, in all of these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Ro 8:37-39)

I look at my silly excuse for a wall and chuckle. I look up at the heavy firepower coming in, and tears roll down my face. But they’re not tears of fear from the mortar shells. They’re mixed tears…

They’re tears of shame because I had forgotten one of the most important things in my Christian walk:
That although I may have gotten myself into a mess with finances, that I may lose patience with another or that I may falter in my walk…I had forgotten that nothing…absolutely nothing…

can separate me from God’s love…

What a shame! That I had forgotten the one thing that can give me the most joy in life! But the tears aren’t just tears of shame.

They’re tears of joy as well. Why? It’s simple! Because nothing can separate me from the love of God! That He loves me in my foolishness now just as much as he loved me when he sent Jesus to the cross. That even though the attack is closing in on me, what harm can it do? The enemy can take my money. The enemy can take my health. The enemy can make me feel so alone…

But no matter how heavy the firepower the enemy uses, it will never penetrate God’s love for me.

It is so easy to get caught up in the worries of this world, and forget about trusting the God who saves me. Repetition is so hard to break free from. Paul said it best. “Oh wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God, for Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24-25)


As I walked to work the other day, I happened to break from looking straight ahead and I looked to the side and I noticed something new…

A tree is turning colors…

A Man of Wrath

“I…am a man of wrath!
I am a man of anger!
I am a man of strife, of malice!

I am a man of wrath!!
I hear your words,
your words to convince me.
Your words saying, “Turn away! Turn away!”
Fools!!

Wrath!
Anger! Strife! Malice!
RAGE!!!

I am a man of WRATH!
Fury! Anger! Strife!!
(weaker) pain…
(shake it off)
No! Malice! Rage!!
WRATH!!

I am a man of –“
love



The man of wrath began to look around. Was there a voice just then? He began again, but quieter, timidly.

Wrath!




Nothing. He thinks to himself he must have heard things. He begins again just as loud.

Anger! Strife Malice!
Rage!!!

love

NO!!! WRATH!!!!

He shakes his fist vehemently into the air. His screams are louder, almost desperate. His face is contorted, the wrath painting his face red. The sweat begins to bead on his forehead.

love

His body begins to waver now. The wrath in his face begins to loosen. The red begins to fade as the tears begin to build. His hands begin to drop from the fists in the air to the helplessness near his side.

….

The weakness begins to set in now. He fights it…

….Wrath! Anger!! Strife! … he is weak
Malice…

…Rage?

love

The disbelief sets in now. As if fighting a mighty battle is being waged in his mind, the confusion on his face builds. Where beads of sweat began, trails are beginning to form as the sweat mounts and traces its way down his face. Confusion begins to once again give way to wrath…His breathes become heavy…he begins to heave… he prepares his lungs…

NO! Wrath!

love

He begins to falter…his body begins to lower as his knees begin to sway…

Wrath! Please,… wrath!

love

Closer…closer to the ground as his knees begin to fall

…lo- lo- …?
…


Disbelief. Confusion. One last attempt…

NO!! WRATH!!

love

…HOW CAN YOU LOVE?!
HOW?! WHY?!?

The desperate cries…
the weakened man…

love

NO!! PLEASE NO!!
NOT ME!!
I AM A MAN OF WRATH!!

i will make you a man of love

He tries to reason, tries to explain why he is not worth the effort…

all my wrath…

love

The persistence of the love is beyond him.
Who could love such a man?

how will you take such wrath?

why?

mercy

LOVE

no…

After all he has done, how can he accept this love?

LOVE

please, not for me…

Anyone, Anyone, oh please, please…
not for me…please…

LOVE

please…

LOVE

He can bear it no longer. Who can stand against such love? Who can persist? He falls to his knees. He covers his face in shame. He writhes in agony at the mere thought…of love…of the cost of love…

could it be real?

MERCY!!! Oh, God, please…mercy!!
I am a man of wrath!!

i will make you a man of love

The tears flow through the hands.

He weeps…

The man of wrath…is wrath no more…but love…

When the tears begin to slow, he wonders, is this still real? Is it really love?

love

He braces his knees…slowly he rises.
He is weak.
He is broken.
He is not the same man.

I was a man of wrath…
I will be a man of love…

Voices around him now…angry voices, terrible voices

“Fool!” they cry.
“Love” he responds.

“Fool!” they shout.
“Love” he responds.

“Fool!” they laugh.
“Love…” he says with difficulty.

“Fool!” they roar.
“Love!” he cries

“Fool!” they scream.
“Love!” he shouts.

“Fool!”
“Love!” he roars

“Fool!”
“Love!” he screams.

“FOOL!”
“WRATH-“

It comes out… And he is ashamed…

love

He weeps.

Still?

love

He straightens himself up.
He is called a fool several more times.
A few times more he slips…yet each time he hears love afterwards
The years pass on. He slips into wrath much less.
Soon wrath has left him entirely.

All that is left is…

Love!

Love!
Love!

Love…




LOVE


This is not just some made-up story. This is the story of who I was. This is the story of who I am. And it is the story of who I hope to become. Thank you, Christ, for your love.

Taking Responsibility

In a time when it seems like we're hearing a lot of blame shifting and people not taking responsibility for their actions, I thought it was reasonable to post this, whether people responded or not.

I admit that I am responsible for taking on a loan for a car that I really did not need. My car that I had before broke down, and instead of just getting it fixed I let myself be deluded into thinking that it would be better to just get a new car. It was a stupid mistake. I also let myself get into some pretty stupid credit card debt.

So there it is. I don't say this to say I'm asking for money, because I'm not by any means. I just feel I have heard so many people deny responsibility for all this mess. And if the situation is one because of people putting stuff on credit more than they should have, then I have to be willing to say I am one of those people. That's all I'm trying to say in this.

What You Least Expect

So I've been in Korea now for just over a month, and I find it surprising as I begin to notice the things that I'm missing from home the most. Obviously I miss people the most. I still occasionally find myself wanting to whip out my cell phone and call some people up when something funny happens, or one of the kids does awesome or whatever. Yeah. People are one aspect I miss quite a bit. But since that's a given, let's move on to some other things. :)

Food

One of the things I thought I would miss the most when I came over here was ice cream. I had been told that there is simply no ice cream in most of Asia, and the ice cream available is incredibly expensive. As it turns out, this is not so, at least not for Korea. They actually have Baskin Robbins aplenty over here. Priced about the same, too, I would say. Even the Burger King across the road from me in my apartment has cheap ice cream ($.60 or less!), and it's some of the best vanilla ice cream in my life! (People from Southern Maine reading this, have no fear. Your ice cream remains #1 no matter what.)

No, the food I've craved isn't really what I expected at all. The biggest one would have to be popcorn. In the States I would always have at least 5-6 bags of popcorn at the ready for movie nights. Then, when I decide to sit down to a movie I'd just plop down and enjoy a bowl while enjoying the movie. Don't get me wrong, they have popcorn here, although I don't know if it's as good as the states. No, my problem currently is simply that I don't have a microwave. I opted for the Convection Oven over the microwave. I'm starting to wonder if that was such a good idea for the beginning... Haha!

Another food that is a bit surprising is soda. It's odd because they have Coke here. Even Fanta. ... And that's all. Haha! I miss Cherry Coke! And Dr. Pepper! And Barq's! OOOOO. In the long run, it's for the best. I'm drinking more water and juice now, so that's good. But nevertheless...

As to restaurants, it's not quite as surprising, because I pass this place everyday. Even so, I didn't go there all that much back home and I was expecting different restaurants (Wendy's, Arby's, Rafferty's, O'Charley's, etc.) Nope. The restaurant I'm craving lately is Outback. Outback seems to be wildly popular, and there's one right across the street from where I live. I walk by it practically every day, and each time I just think, "MMMM, Bloomin' Onion..." or steak, or whatever else.

I miss a lot of other things, too, of course, but food is on my mind right now.

And if you're thinking, "Wow. So far only 1 or 2 of these blog posts have not been about food...", I'm hypoglycemic, what do you expect? :) Now FEEED MEEEE!!!

C is for Cookie, and that's good enough for me.

Living in the Swing of the Pendulum

The watchmaker began to pack up his supplies for the day. He carefully inspected the works from that day. He was proud of his creations. He had recently built four new grandfather clocks. He worked diligently to make sure the wood was made of the finest quality and had unique artwork in each of their designs. Each was a masterpiece in its own accord, and the pendulums swung back and forth with regularity. He smiled and headed out the door to rest up for the next day. During the night, as the clocks continued in the labor of keeping time, one became irritated with swinging to and fro the whole time.

“I don’t care much for this idea of swinging back and forth all the time,” It professed sharply. “I don’t see why I must travel all the way from the left to the right. It’s tiresome. I like staying in my right side. Besides which, there are details on my left side I don’t quite agree with. It is simply too…’artsy’ for me. I prefer the simple, the logical. We are, after all, clocks. Our whole purpose is to be practical, not artful.”

“Just what do you mean?” retorted another clock. “Weren’t we made by an artisan? We weren’t made on an assembly line like some watches. We were especially crafted, individually made and cared for. If someone wanted to simply know the time they could look at their watch! We give people an opportunity to meditate on the beauty within time itself! We bring people to a new focus! It is your simple, cold, logical side which is the problem with our manufacture. I grow tired of it!”

“You fool!” called the first clock. “Your artwork is meddlesome and confusing to our task of giving the time! I tire of it and I’m certain others will as well! How on earth are they ever to know the time if they can’t get beyond the artwork?”

“The artwork is meddlesome?!” quipped the second clock. “Your logical side is the wasted effort! How are they to be able to see the watchmaker through simple logic?!”

“Because it makes sense!” The first clock screamed back. “If a person can’t tell the time because they are lost in the artwork, then you are flawed! And when they see your flaw, and the watchmaker sees your flaw, he will surely put you to hammer and chisel to simplify you! That is, assuming, he doesn’t just put you to the fire in the first place!”

“Me to the fire?! He would most surely put you to the fire first, for you are so plain, who would want you?!”

“Ridiculous!” shouted the first clock. “I will have nothing more to do with your ‘art.’”

“Ha!” laughed the first clock. “And precisely how do you plan on doing that?! Were you not created to swing to both sides? You’re stuck with experiencing both sides!”

“We shall see!” And the first clock screeched and squealed. It moaned and croaked. And soon enough, it had stopped swinging its pendulum to its left-most side and had firmly positioned the pendulum on the right side of cabinet. “There! You see! I will remain here! I will not be moved! This is less work than swinging to and fro all day, and now I can focus my energies on contemplating the logic!”

“If you will have no more of the art, then I will have no more of the logic!” snapped the second clock. It screeched and squealed. It moaned and croaked. And soon enough, it had stopped swinging its pendulum to its right-most side and had firmly positioned the pendulum on the left side of cabinet. “Ha! See! I may remain here and will not be moved! This is less work than swinging to and fro all day, and I will focus my energies on contemplating the mysteries, the emotions and the art!”

“Fool! You there!” The first clock called to a third clock. “What say you? Left or right? Whose side do you agree with?”

“I have listened to both of your arguments,” began the third clock, “and I must say, I see weight in both arguments. I do believe the art has its place, and I believe the logic has its place. But I agree that this idea of swinging the pendulum back and forth is tedious. I believe the answer is found in simply living in the middle. In that way, you may have some from the art, and some from the logic!” And the third clock screeched and squealed. It moaned and croaked. And soon enough, it had stopped swinging its pendulum to its right-most side, and had stopped swinging its pendulum to its left-most side. Instead, it was now firmly rested in the middle. “There! Now I am doing the least work of us all! While you both remain in your respective sides, you must work continuously to remain in such a spot! I, on the other hand, have accomplished the feat of being able to see both points without using nearly as much energy! Ha!”

At this the three clocks heard a fourth clock chuckle further out. “Who do you laugh at?” Called out the first clock.

“I laugh at all of you!” replied the fourth clock. “One argues for logic, one argues for art. Still another believes that the answer is in laziness and simply staying in the middle and not working at all. In this method he feels he can pacify to both sides.”

“So?” questioned the second clock. “What is your solution?”

“To swing! As we were created to do!” And the fourth clock continued in his swinging cheerfully. “Don’t you see? We weren’t meant to stay stationary, we were meant to live in the swing of our pendulum. In trying to stay to one side, you do much more work than you must to keep to that side, and you miss the benefits of the one side! By remaining in the middle, you may avoid the confrontation, and you may experience some of the benefits, but ultimately you will grow stagnant. By living in the swing of the pendulum, we live in the way we were meant to. My visit to the logical side helps me appreciate the artful portion, and the visits to the artful side help me appreciate the logical side.“

“But by swinging between the two,” replied the third clock, “you have to work so much harder!”

“Who said we would not have to work in this? Were we not designed to work? Besides, the swing is not that much work, as the visit from one side help me swing back to the other side. The watchmaker should return soon, he will clear the matter. By the way, who can tell me what time it is?”

“That is simple!” called the other clocks. “It is…” and they realized they could not tell the time. Their clocks had stopped working when they stopped swinging. At that the watchmaker re-entered the shop. He saw the four clocks, and the first three felt ashamed. When it as exclaimed what had happened, the watchmaker gently laughed.

“You silly clocks. You should have listened to the fourth clock. It is right that you must live in the swing.”

“Oh please, sir!” cried out the first three clocks. “Don’t put us to the fire!”

“The fire? You don’t need the fire just yet. You have understood your mistakes and acknowledge the wrong. No, you may still be fixed. Am I not a watchmaker? Are you not my creations? I will help correct you. The fire is reserved for those clocks who simply refuse to work as they were designed to. How am I to use those?” And he began the work to correct the clocks swings. They went back to their life in the swing of the pendulum. It wasn’t necessarily easy, but they realized it was more fulfilling to live life in the way it was meant to, in the way they were built to.

Hundreds of years ago, Martin Luther once commented that man is like a drunken man on a horse, swaying from side to side. This is true in all aspects of life, and becomes apparent in the life of the church as well. Some of us don’t like experiencing the mystical side, the contemplative side, the artistic side. We cry out and say that emotion and experience have no place in the church. As a result, some of us respond by living only in the experience, and resist the tug of the logical side. We may feel the answer is to stay steady on the horse, where we simply stay in the middle. But I believe the answer is not in simply staying in one place.

In my experience, the older I get and the further I go in my journey with Christ, the more I realize that this sojourn is no easy task that is restricted to one side. God created us as emotional beings, capable to create art and understand it. He created us as logical, smart, and thoughtful. If God created us in these ways, why should we try to live without one or the other? The Christian walk requires experiencing both of these aspects and in an active environment. We must find ourselves journeying from one side to the other. In utilizing both of the tools God has given us, we can find the checks against living too logically or too experientially.

How easy we find it to simply call out the other side as false and remain to our side. How easy we find it to separate ourselves from each other. Why can we not instead live together as we were called to? It may mean arguments, it may mean conflict and disagreements. That is part of living in a family.

As a child my older brother and I used to fight with each other frequently. My father would step in and say to us, “Why do you two argue like this? You’re supposed to be brothers? You’re supposed to love each other?” According to tradition, in his old age John would be carried into the brotherhood saying, “Little children, love one another.” This would follow quite closely to what John says. After all, if we can’t have fellowship with one another, how can we call ourselves brothers and sisters in Christ?

My brother frequently took pride in knowing how to push my buttons to annoy me and set me off. I know that this happens in the church as well from time to time. It doesn’t make it right, but it doesn’t make them less our brothers and sisters.

For too long in our history of the church we have had the simple assumption that if we do not agree with the person across the pew than we can simply walk away and cut off relations with that person. Should we not realize that cutting ourselves from a brother in Christ is just as impossible as cutting ourselves from our blood brothers and sisters? Why not leave the judgment to Him who is Judge? Occasionally we may need to ask a brother to leave us for a time, but they are still a brother or sister. Even when they step away from Christ, are they not still a child of God? Shouldn’t we still love them with all of our hearts? Weren’t we too, not long ago, caught in the life of the world and needing rescue?

My point is that much of the power of the church has been lost in the dis-unity and the breaking. I love seeing churches working together for the good of the Kingdom. They may have their disagreements, but they work together through it all. Unity is essential. After all, isn’t it what Christ prayed for before his death? It may not be easy to live our lives in the swing of the pendulum. It may, at times, be confusing. But God created us with both aspects, and we should be willing to live among them.